Egg Snogging
by LibertySun
Summary: What happens when an inebriated Brian can't recall the events of his drunken evening on the town? Holiday Hi-jinks, hilarity and intoxicated investigation of course!
1. Sloshed, Stitches & Stolen suits

_'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa was checking his list. The naughty and nice of the Pennsylvania Pitts._

_At the tip top of naughty in the mediocre city, was the top scrooge himself…Mr. Brian Kinney._

_You see, there wasn't a need to check the list twice…for this particular man was never on nice._

_Let's take you now to see for yourself…he whose holiday spirit is lost._

_No tree, no lights, no cookies, no elf…in the bland boring office of Kinnetik's lone boss._

* * *

"I'm sorry Mr. Kinney, it's just that I'm afraid your 'sex sells' approach isn't compatible with our company. We were leaning towards a more family friendly marketing campaign." The CEO of Harper's Energy Drink informed him through the phone.

Brian sighed lightly, this account would have been a huge milestone for Kinnetik, but if this company was not willing to let him be his usual brilliant self, then it was their loss. He wasn't about to produce any mainstream commercial bubble gum bullshit. A couple jogging together, holding hands, climbing a fucking mountain or some equally flimsy unrealistic nonsense._'Simply not his style.' _"I understand Mr. Harper, thank you for your time." he said before quickly adding "Merry Christmas." and hung up the receiver.

Brian stretched and rolled his neck on his shoulders, _'Christ he was tense.' _He began to pour his second (or fifth) glass of scotch. The best thing about December to Mr. Kinney were the expensive bottles of Alcohol given to him from his high profile clients. After all, it was copious quantities of said alcohol that helped him to survive loathsome events such as Christmas shopping, Santa imposters begging for money on street corners, and holiday movies and music playing on every goddamn station.

As the familiar golden liquid began it's burning descent into his body, he turned his gaze to the window. It was raining. _'Of fucking course.' _It had been raining constantly for the past three days.

Occasionally accompanied by sleet and a fog almost thick enough to hide the entire dismal city of Pittsburgh. _'Such a lovely fucking day.' _Brian thought, letting his mind drift to his own personal sunshine that always shined, even on the bleakest of days.

Justin had been in New York for three days now. Three days too many for his husband's liking. It had almost seemed to Brian that this consistent downpour was the city itself crying over the blond's departure. Justin had had his work showcased alongside three other artists for a Christmas Gala in New York.

Though Brian was proud of him, he still hated being separated. In truth, he had become so used to Justin's presence that he couldn't sleep on nights the blond wasn't _snuggled_ tightly against his chest. A soon as the 'S' word met his thoughts, the brunet took another swig of scotch.

'_Okay maybe there was one thing that superseded Brian's love of gifted alcohol this month; the fact that Justin was coming home tonight.'_

Thoughts of sunshine parting this insufferable fog had Brian finally feeling in the Christmas spirit. A sexy image danced on the back of his closed eyelids. 'Mistletoe hanging from his cock that Justin just happened to stumble underneath.' The thought brought forth a small chuckle from his lips. He had been so lost in fantasy that he hadn't heard his assistant enter.

"What's so amusing Boss? I thought Mr. Harper rejected your ideas." Cynthia smiled.

"Fuck em', I don't need their business." he said hoping to convince his secretary, and himself.

"Uh-huh." she nodded her head a little and approached his desk. "I have messages for you." She said whilst handing her boss a stack of post it notes in the shape of Christmas trees.

"Thanks." he motioned with his hand that the blonde could exit.

The first message was from Debbie: 'You're coming to dinner tonight, no fucking excuses Kinney. Love you.'

_'Christ.' _he mentally declared picking up the second note.

The second was from Mikey: 'Ma's going to be calling. She says there is no way you're missing fucking dinner on Christmas eve, just a head's up.'

_'Christ.' _he mentally declared again, picking up the last note.

The small piece of paper held enormous significance. Especially to his heart, that was being ripped apart with each word he read.

It was from Justin: 'Flight canceled due to heavy fog, trying to get another flight, may not be until the 26th, will call later, Love you.'

'_The 26__th__?' _He looked intently at the novelty shaped note as if he'd hoped staring harder would somehow make the message say what he wanted it to. Justin was going to be spending Christmas without him. A slew of four letter, not so pleasant words flooded his brain, though none spilled out from his lips.

So here he was. He had just lost a multi-million dollar account. He was being forced to attend a family dinner. And his Sunshine was stuck in another state. '_What else could go wrong?_' he furiously wondered, then realized too late that you should never ask yourself that question. The fucking answer resounded loudly through the previously silent room.

Cynthia's voice buzzed in on the intercom, he jumped slightly causing the delicate amber liquid to spill down onto his tie. "Shit." he muttered as he feverishly began blotting the wet spot on his favorite piece of Armani neckwear. "What is it?" he growled.

"Well, aren't we quite the Grinch?" Cynthia's voice emitted from the box on his desk. "There's a certain bright eyed little boy asking for his Daddy on Line two." she continued then promptly dropped the line.

"Hey Sonny Boy!" he drawled, feeling genuine happiness for the first time tonight.

"Daddy!" one of Brian's favorite voice's chimed. A sudden warmth found his heart, his son's love always acted as a scarf to Brian's soul.

"You ready for Santa?" Brian asked the boy.

An over animated Gus began to flood the phone with words, causing his Daddy's ears to overflow.

"Oh boy! Am I? I've been such a good boy Daddy! Uh-huh, it's true. I'm gonna get real good presents for sure!"

A smile graced Brian's lips. Between his Mothers, Deb, and Justin, the child was in for some serious spoiling.

"I already got some gifts," the boy rambled on, excitement embracing each new word. "for Hanukkah, uh-huh I sure did. Mommy actually let me light the 'mora' all by myself. You know? Cause I'm so grown up now. And guess what else?"

Brian began to venture a guess, fairly sure the kid had definitely consumed a zillion and one candy canes; but was interrupted.

A sugar rush spilling his speech. "I got a dreidel_, _you know, a top. It spins. Boy Daddy it sure is so fun! Do you like playing with tops Daddy?"

The brunet let out an involuntary chuckle as he considered Gus' question. Not surprisingly his mind took it's usual place in the gutter; a familiar environment in which he'd had reserved seating since he was twelve.

His cock twitched as it recalled the handful of times he'd let Justin top him. "No, not too often Sonny Boy, but Daddy Justin really likes playing with his top." '_Christ he missed his blond._'

At least Gus was coming to Pittsburgh tonight.

"Oh, Daddy, hold on Mommy wants the phone."

Brian rushed an 'I love you' of sorts as he listened to the shuffling of the receiver in Canada.

"Brian," Lindsay's voice was soft and slightly quivering. '_Now what?_' Brian thought. This was her I've got bad news voice.

"It's snowing like crazy, our flight has been delayed. Some news stations are predicting an indefinite closing of the airport."

Brian's heart fell through the floor. Well what was left of it anyway. A third of it was just on the other side of this phone call, and the rest was currently in New York.

"Oh, Linds." he practically whined. This fucking night was rapidly descending into what could very well be considered the 'Pitts' of hell.

Before he finished his unprepared temper tantrum, Lindsay spoke again.

"Relax, I promise you we will get out of here on the first available flight."

He shook his head as if she could see him and wordlessly disconnected the call.

As Brian hung up the phone he felt the tiny sliver of Christmas spirit present in his soul mere moments ago, exit his existence. Eagerly it was replaced with 'Bah-hum-bugs' of epic Scrooge like proportions.

"Fan-fucking-tastic." he told himself, and the empty office.

Glancing down he spotted Debbie's earlier message. "Ugh." he groaned. The last place he wanted to be was surrounded by the Novotny's tacky decorations and goddamn holiday cheer.

Quickly deciding on beer before cheer, he pulled on his coat and left the office. Destination: Woody's.

* * *

Several hours later...

_There's a colorful home tucked away tight. On a colorful street on this very night._

_In a room of that house, on the very top floor...Debbie awakened to a knock at the door._

_She grumbled and mumbled, her eyes met the air._

_She fumbled and bumbled her way to the stairs._

_Let's sneak a peek at her mystery guest...Wait. No. We'll just let her show you the rest..._

* * *

"Dammit Brian." she rasped pulling her robe closely around her neck. The winter's cold night still managed to visit her foyer, despite the house's heat.

The asshole had bailed on dinner, she should have predicted that he'd arrive now, nearing midnight. Undoubtedly, he'd be swimming in exotic scotch or cheap beer. Probably both. She expected to open the door and hear a slurred stream of _excuses_ from the man that 'didn't do them'.

Quickly, she scanned the list of left overs in the fridge in her mind. Deciding she'd first give him crescent rolls to sop up some of the alcohol, she opened the door.

* * *

_And what to her wondering eyes should appear? A sunshiny smile she treasured so dear._

_Blue eyes twinkled like the street's festive lights...The boy's hot breathe puffed into the night._

_With tired eyes and a tiny shiver, he looked at Deb as his lips began to quiver._

___She looked into his eyes and noticed the worry, "Come in or you'll freeze." she said in a hurry._  


_She ushered him in and hugged the blond close, hugging this kid was what she loved most._

* * *

"Sunshine! What are you doing here at this hour? Brian?" Justin's worried expression transferred to her own face. "Is something wrong with Brian?" panic rising in her voice.

Justin shook the night's earlier rain from his knit hat, and gave an encore shake of his golden locks. "I was hoping he was here." he said almost in a whisper. "I knew you had your dinner tonight, my flight got delayed and I was afraid I'd miss Christmas. Thankfully the fog cleared and I thought my best bet would be to check here before I go to loft or the house. I called but he's not answering his cell or at either home." Justin's words sang in a steady breathless flow.

Not wanting to further upset the blond, she treaded lightly. "Uh, Sunshine, Brian skipped dinner. I haven't heard from him." Justin's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "Now, honey don't freak out. You know Brian, I'm sure he's home sleeping it off. Too deep in a drunken slumber to hear the phone." Deb placed a reassuring touch to Justin's cheek. _'So Brian had thought Justin wasn't coming home.' _Suddenly she understood his reason for avoiding dinner. Even after all of the years she'd know this blond's effect on Brian, it never ceased to fill her with warmth.

"Let me fix you a thermos of cocoa before you ride out there." she placed a quick kiss on his pale cheek and turned towards the kitchen before he could protest. Before she even had time to remove a mug from the cabinet, a boisterous knock startled both she and Justin. Blue eyes met Deb's, both alight, certain that it was Brian stumbling around on the porch. The loud crashes did indeed confirm the alcohol theory, as did the ..._singing?_

"Iiiiiii saw Daddy kissssssss-ing san, san , San-ta Clauuuus." the slurred lyrics danced out of tune. Both Deb and Justin chuckled a little as Justin opened the door. His previous chuckle morphed into full blown laughter. A melodic melody of the blond being both confused and amused by the sight before him.

Glazed hazel devoured blue.

"Suuunshine! Hot damn! You're here. Right? Am I here too? I think I am." Brian nodded to himself, as his voice squeaked a little. He looked genuinely perplexed pondering the reality of their presence on the porch.

Instantly Justin glanced toward the street, relieved to find that the Corvette was no where in sight. He relaxed a little in knowing that Brian had not driven in this condition.

"Brian, get inside, it's freezing out here. What the fuck are you wearing?" Justin both ordered and inquired, smile widely in place. His blue eyes graced every inch of the man he loved more than anything in the world.

"Shhhhh!" Brian unsuccessfully took several attempts to press his finger to his lips. He lowered his voice, "I stole Santa's clothes." he explained then proceeded to burst into a childlike fit of giggles. Yes. Giggles.

Starting at the top, Justin saw that mess of chestnut hair halfway covered by a floppy Santa hat. It sat haphazardly, leaning towards his left shoulder. Next, Justin was drawn to that amazingly toned bare chest currently only graced with a pair of ill fitting suspenders. Instinctively, Justin worried about the man getting sick. The suspenders were barely managing to do their assigned task as they struggled to hold up only the bottom half of a Santa suit. It was at least five sizes too big for the brunet's trim waist. The ensemble was finished off with an extremely clunky pair of black boots.

To Justin, his husband looked both a complete disaster and goddamn adorable. He smiled inwardly as he imagined a sober Brian's face if he knew the ungodly clothes currently touching his five star body.

His luxuriously lean body that was moving towards him now in strange, unidentifiable ministrations. Giggling, Justin could only venture to guess it was the brunet's attempt at some sort of seductive dance.

Justin grabbed Brian's arm in attempt to guide him to the door. "It's fucking freezing out here." he reiterated. "Aw, I know how you can warm me up. Come here little boy, sit on Santa's lap." Brian attempted to waggle his eyebrows which was further highlighting his current lack of coordination. "Have you been naughty or nice? Oh please say naughty." he drawled, his warm breath tickling his husband's ear.

Debbie emerged and took her place on the other side of this nearly nude St. Nick. "Alright Santa, let's get your ass in the house."

To no one's surprise "Ass." was all Brian repeated in a whispered voice.

"Let's get him upstairs Sunshine, maybe a shower will sober him up."

Justin nodded and used all the strength he could muster to drag his husband to the second floor. A task that proved to be none too easy. On every step, Brian started to sit, only to pout like a child when Justin would force him to continue.

Several '_You're means_' later, they reached the upstairs bedroom.

"I'll go start the shower." Deb announced then left the two alone.

Justin guided the brunet onto the mattress, who immediately began to strip off his barely there ensemble. Justin felt those familiar long slender fingers coil around his own. He met Brian's eyes, "Come on little elf, it's time you visit the North Pole." he slurred, eyeing his now very exposed, very_ eager_ erection.

"Shit Brian, you're blitzed, how are you even ready?" The man shrugged and raised his hands towards the ceiling. "It's a Christmas miracle!" he declared loudly, eliciting yet another laugh from his blond.

Justin rolled his eyes and began removing the hideous boots, then took the fuzzy red pants off the remainder of the way. "OK Kris Kringle, time to hit the showers.'' he said pulling the brunet by his arms.

"Yes Si-Si Sir." he sent the blond a mock salute then allowed himself to be led into the bathroom.

* * *

_Soaps and suds and water abound, splishy splashy all around._

_Justin discovered troubles a plenty... It was some kind of hard to bathe a drunk Brian Kinney._

_Too many advances to distract the blond's task, Brian's hand seemingly merged with his ass._

_It poked and it proded, it grabbed and it rubbed. All the while Justin continued to scrub._

_Blue eyes found a mark on his bum, stitches and bruises alarming him some._

* * *

"Brian," he started "what happened?" he asked tracing his fingers with ghostlike delicacy against the wound on his husband's bottom.

A no more sober than before brunet cocked an eyebrow and turned feverishly in circles trying to catch an impossible glimpse of his own ass.

Feeling slightly nauseous he soon gave up and shrugged nonchalantly. Justin however was very much interested in learning what happened tonight.

After redressing the brunet (against vast protesting) in some of Carl's old clothes, Justin stood up and met his husband's eyes. "OK. We need to figure out what exactly you've been into tonight Mr. Kinney."

Brian nodded his head, not really hearing the blond's words. He had been far more focused on the blond's body. Most intently on that delicious ass he'd been missing for three days.

He aggressively cupped his hands firmly on the body part in question. "Time to take a sleigh ride Sunshine. Right down your snow white slopes." he grinned a grin that almost had Justin giving in. It always went straight to his cock whenever Brian's dimples punctuated his smile.

Finally getting the man back downstairs, he bid Deb a goodnight, thanked her for calling a cab, and focused his attention back to Brian. "First thing's first. Where's the car?"

"Car?" the brunet parroted as if the word were completely foreign. "Noooo Sunshine. I flew here on Santa's reindeer. Right fidigity little fucker that one. It was a buuuum-py ride" he accentuated the word.

_'Christ. This was going to be a long night.' _Justin concluded, bracing himself against the cold night of unanswered questions and ridiculous possibilities.

* * *

_Thus into the night the cab driver drove. Into the fog they determinedly dove._

_Sleuthing for answers with conviction and stealth..._

_One shit-faced Santa, and his blond headed elf._


	2. Holiday House Guest

_The taxi pulled up to a place they knew well, their first night they never forgot._

_Oh Lordy the stories those walls could tell, Inside that loft on Tremont._

* * *

Justin asked the driver to keep the meter running, then hustled Brian out of the car. He needed a place to drop off his bags, before he delved further into Brian's current...condition.

Struggling with his large duffel bag was hard enough, only to be weighed down even more by his stumbling husband. Since their arms were interlocked, every time Brian tripped, Justin fought to remain upright.

"Oopsie Daisy!" Brian singsonged, then drew his lips into his mouth. He shot the blond an apologetic look who decided that such a cutesy phrase spoken from _those_ lips was impossible to be angry with.

It was as equally impossible to remain focused with Brian's hand down his pants. Figuring it'd keep the brunet out of trouble for the duration of their ascent, he let his eyes close and leaned back against the wall of the elevator. Those godly fingers clumsily trailed their way past his belt.

"Alright Tiny Tim, let Santa slide down your chimney." Brian said in an embarrassingly terrible English accent.

Justin jumped a little as Brian's hand firmly gripped his erection. Over the years the man had definitely learned exactly how to touch him.

Feeling Justin's hard length excited Brian. "God bless us everyone." he announced to no one; then sloppily began sucking at every exposed inch of Justin's skin his mouth could reach.

Something rough snagged on Justin's most delicate flesh causing him to open his eyes. He removed Brian's hand for closer inspection.

His heart sank a little. His Husband's wedding band was missing. In it's place was a bandage.

"What happened to your finger? Where's your ring Brian?" the blond asked sternly, while trying to peel off the band-aid.

The brunet hastily yanked his finger from the other man's grip. "Nooo." he shook his head fiercely "My owie." he stated matter-of-factly, kissed his injured digit and shot Justin a look of disdain that still managed to elicit a grin from the blond.

"Alright. Alright." Justin conceded as the elevator delivered them to the familiar gray of the Loft's door.

Pulling open the door Justin nervously noticed two things.

1. The smell of smoke.

2. The incessant beeping of the smoke detector.

'_What now?_' he mentally groaned, while simultaneously praying the loft was not engulfed in flames.

Thick gray smoke assaulted the men instantly. Justin coughed and placed his arm over his mouth and nose.

To his surprise Brian appeared un-fazed.

Urgently the blond located the source of the smokey clouds filling his lungs. He hurriedly opened the oven door.

Rolling smoke spilled forth simulating the dense fog currently floating around the city.

Unidentifiable, scorched, something or others sat sadly on a baking sheet. Justin tossed the hot pan onto the counter, turned off the oven, thanked his lucky stars the building hadn't burnt to ash; then frantically worked to get the smoke alarm to quit it's yapping.

He had just completed his third propelled bounce, and managed to hit it, when Brian's soft voice withdrew his attention.

He watched the brunet somberly examine the charred contents of what he could presume were meant to be cookies. If Justin hadn't known better, he'd believe the other man was about to cry.

"Oh no." Brian breathed softly "My fucking _fucking_ cookies." he choked, and held the items towards Justin.

Looking now, Justin noticed they were gingerbread men engaged in elicit sexual acts.

* * *

_Burnt cookie parts and singed cookie heads,_

_Provocatively on display._

_In X-rated poses sat these gingerbreads,_

_proudly on the tray._

* * *

"How could I have let this happen?" Brian asked on the verge of tears.

Justin had been about to soothe the man's guilt for nearly nuking their neighbors; when he realized Brian had not directed his question to him. Instead he'd been addressing the 'men' he was holding.

'_Good grief_.' Justin thought as he watched the confident Brian Kinney morph into a Queening out Betty Crocker.

Turning on the exhaust fan above the stove to alleviate the smoke, he turned to face the rest of the loft.

* * *

_Looking around, Justin was hit with relief. All else appeared tidy and snug. Upon further inspection, to his full disbelief, a large antlered reindeer was eating the rug._

_ For certain he'd figured Brian to freak, to squeal and begin cursing aloud. Though he didn't hear yelling, not one single shriek. Brian just said "No Carpet-munchers allowed."_

* * *

"Uh, Brian?" Justin asked cautiously approaching the animal in their living room. "Silly question," blue eyes rolled, "but _why_ is there a deer in here?"

"REIN-deer." he heard Brian correct him from the kitchen.

Justin glanced briefly from the animal to the brunet who was, to Justin's annoyance, pouring himself a shot of Beam. Quickly he rushed to the counter.

Brian, seeing his disciplinarian coming, rushed to swallow it and slammed the glass down as Justin approached. Brian smiled widely and lifted his tongue as if to say 'haha I already swallowed it.'

"No more liquor! Christ Brian!" Justin scolded, causing those hazel eyes to look like a wounded puppy.

"Listen, I need you to think really hard." he said, softening his voice and silently cursing having to address his husband like their six year old son.

"Really hard." Brian repeated then proceeded to grab at his crotch.

"Where. did. you. get. the. reindeer?" Justin asked again.

"From Santa's sleigh. What?" he addressed his husband's accusing stare, "He had seven more." he defended.

Almost absentmindedly, Brian poured another shot. Justin gave up protesting.

To his surprise the brunet didn't drink it. Instead, he carried it and placed it at the reindeer's feet.

Justin smiled inwardly and followed behind Brian to pick the glass back up. "Reindeer don't like liquor." he explained to his husband; who just shrugged and walked up into the bedroom leaving a trail of Carl's discarded clothing in his wake.

"Come on Justin, It's time to get your Christmas gift! I've already unwrapped it." a slurred shout escaped the room.

The blond watched as Brian quite literally leaped onto the bed, with so much torque and eager conviction that he slid directly across the silk sheets, and landed on the floor with a resounding _thud_.

"I am Ooooh Kaaay!" Justin heard his husband's disembodied voice announce and watched a long slender arm rise from the side of the mattress and confirm his assessment with his fingers.

With a groan, the blond rushed to the man on the floor.

Simultaneously his heart and his breath ceased to work. His cock however was putting in overtime hours.

Even completely drunk off of his deliciously sexy ass, a nude Brian Kinney was a sight to behold.

Behold. Be loved. Be near. '_Fucking perfect_.'

As blue trailed inch by inch of precious bronze, the world fell away.

With a swift jerk, Brian reached up and pulled Justin on top of him.

Momentarily forgetting the importance or existence of anything not directly involving the two of them; Justin gave in. '_Oh how he'd missed this kiss._'

A kiss that could only be delivered by this man.

Tongues twirled and turned, tasting together.

Both savoring the unique flavor of forever and the bittersweet tang of love.

Although, at the moment, this kiss also tasted of tobacco, with a cool hint of menthol and a fuck-ton of booze. It was also singed with a tint of...'_Wet dog?_'

At the unappealing realization, Justin broke away. As his head lifted upwards, he corrected himself with a startled cry. '_Wet reindeer._'

This fucking furry four legged 'friend' of Brian's was apparently kinky and liked to watch. The animal's hot breath grazed Justin's face, causing him to jump backwards.

"Holy fuck! This thing scared the shit out of me." he announced holding his chest in an attempt to calm his racing heart.

He stood, pulling Brian with him. As he left the brunet lying on the bed, he walked toward the armoire.

The reindeer followed.

"Sorry Buddy, you're out of luck. This is a two man show." he explained to it, pulling out some soft fabric pants and warm shirts. He shook his head at the fact that he was conversing with an animal. '_Christ. He was cracking up._'

He tossed the clothing to Brian who was now sitting upright. "Put these on." he instructed, Brian complied. Save for a slight battle of wits with the left arm hole, he'd managed to emerge fully clothed. Smoothing his shirt, Brian eyed the reindeer. "Wait!" he suddenly said, startling the air.

"I remember something!" he blurted out proudly.

Justin stood staring, making the locigal assumption that Brian would continue. He didn't. "Well..." Justin prodded "What is it?" he waved his hands encouraging his husband to speak.

To his much exasperated dismay, Brian shrugged. "I don't remember." he answered.

"But..." he said loudly and raised a finger, he held his hand to his mouth in an attempt to keep the animal from 'reading' his lips. "I'm pretty sure I know this guy." he whispered and gestured towards the reindeer.

Not for the first time, Justin tried to envision Brian struggling to get this animal inside the loft. Try as he might, his mind would not hold onto the image. He made a mental note to call animal control, and leave the mammal outdoors.

He'd call anonymously of course, he could only imagine the headlines:

'Local man robs Santa of suit & dignity before kidnapping Rudolph on Christmas Eve!'

Brian's voice pulled Justin's thoughts from the imaginary paper.

"Maybe _he_ ate my ring!" Brian pointed at the deer, eyes filled with suspicion. "I say we hold him hostage until he gives it back." he declared.

'_Yuck._' Justin thought as he pictured the only way in which one could go about retrieving a digested band of platinum. Justin would almost swear that their holiday house guest was sharing his thoughts. The damn thing's eyes widened in a manner which easily conveyed disagreement with Brian's plan.

"We'll buy you another one." Justin promised, and eyed the reindeer once more.

He wasn't sure how he'd missed it before, it was wearing a collar of leaves. More specifically a cheap, plastic, holly wreath. The blond recognized the tasteless ornament but couldn't immediately place it.

He focused his gaze back to Brian, who in meeting his eyes, smiled crookedly.

As quickly as the smile had arrived, it departed. The brunet sighed deeply "Sonny Boy isn't coming." he breathed sadly. "Fucking Fog." he answered Justin's unasked question.

Several silent seconds passed before Brian spoke again.

"Woah!" he chimed in a voice that could suggest he'd just discovered the meaning of life.

"Sonny boy, Sunshine, Sunny with a 'U'." he chuckled to himself as he rambled. 'Son. Sun. My two sons. Suns. S-s-s."

Justin left the brunet to his philosophical wonder, as he carefully removed the wreath from the poor deer's neck. Holding it now, it clicked. This was the wreath from the front door of Woody's. He'd seen it many times since Thanksgiving. '_OK Woody's it is._' he decided.

"Let's go Oh Wise One." he instructed, helping Brian into his coat. A task more difficult than it sounded, with the man's limp limbs offering zero assistance. Finishing the next to last button, Justin felt Brian kiss the top of his head.

"I like you." he declared into blond hair.

"That's nice." Justin said simply, searching his surroundings for something he could use as a leash for Brian. '_No._' he scolded himself '_For the reindeer._'

* * *

_With the deer outside, and the husband in clothes,_

_Two men entered the car. _

_Hoping to get there before it was closed,_

_The taxi rushed towards the bar._


	3. Blue Christmas

_So they arrived to a place not too far,_

_Where Transvestite strippers danced on the bar._

_Three of who, seemed exceedingly jolly,_

_Ironically named Tinsel, Vixen, and Holly._

* * *

"_He_ was singing karaoke?" a disbelieving Justin questioned Vixen's retelling of the night's events.

"Oh was he ever sweet cheeks." she locked Justin's eyes "He was crooning Elvis so velvet, had these boys salivating all over themselves." she gestured towards Woody's remaining patrons.

The blond just grinned, a little uncomfortable at the thought of Brian being pawed at. Silly of course, considering their past. Justin was definitely no stranger to sharing his partner. Although, the brunet had committed to him exclusively since the wedding; he'd always feel a smidgen of jealousy.

He looked now at his husband. The man was preoccupied with the tiny artificial Christmas tree that sat on the bar. Justin watched as Brian thoughtlessly poked and tapped it's ornaments with his slender finger.

"Blue balls." he poked at the literal ornaments and met Justin's eyes. Hazel appeared to smile.

* * *

_And there Brian stood with his mind on his ache,_

_The sexual frustration was too much to take._

_The balls on the tree, dangled symbolic and true,_

_Much like his own, one plastic, both blu__e._

* * *

Almost too quick for the blond to notice, a standing Brian slid himself the length of the bar on his elbows. Now, he was but inches from his husband's face.

The blond was surprised that he was surprised by just how strongly he smelled of alcohol. Instinctively, Justin took a step back, or several.

"Blue balls." Brian repeated "Blue, Bluuuue, Blue, Christmaaaas-s-s." he attempted to sing the Elvis holiday hit. Brian cocked his head slightly to focus on Vixen, who was staring at him amused.

"Sunshine here," he nodded towards the blond with a vicious head flip that was undoubtedly causing a head rush. "wants my Christmas _very_ blue." Brian practically pouted as he stroked his own ornaments gingerly through his pants.

Vixen laughed. Justin didn't.

"Hey, welcome back Kinney!" The boisterous voice of Ed, the bartender pulled Brian away.

Turning, Justin addressed Vixen again. "Uh," he started slowly, unsure of just what he wanted to ask first. "just out of curiosity," he tried to remain casual "Brian wasn't dressed as Santa during his performance was he?" He eyed Vixen's own glittery Santa-esque ensemble and hoped she hadn't taken his words as mockery. To his relief, she smiled.

"Why, no." a light chuckle, "Though, I'd have quite liked to have seen that." she nodded and looked at Justin with unreadable eyes. "He was wearing his standard high and mighty stud slut suit. Armani, I think." Vixen confirmed then turned to face her drink.

Out of his peripheral vision, Justin saw Brian bring a cup to his lips. He turned swiftly, but was still too slow. '_Christ, Brian was never going to sober up, if he kept drinking._' Justin was starting to miss his sober husband.

"That's some damn fine eggnog!" the brunet complimented Ed.

Justin kept quiet while he watched the bartender duck down, evidently searching for something. A soft tap to his shoulder startled Justin slightly.

"Hey Justin." It was Jordan, or as he was known tonight, Holly. "Did Brian here tell you he judged the Ho-Ho-Hoe contest this year?" The blond just shook his head. That was just one of the items on the infinite list of things Brian hadn't shared. "I won!" Holly clapped excitedly, and turned to give Justin a 360 degree view of her frilly, over-the-top Avant Garde outfit.

Here we are!" Ed's declaration pulled all three men's attention. Looking at the object the man held in the air, excited Justin some. Brian's cell phone. He could only hope something on it would provide some answers.

"You left this." he started to hand the cell to Brian, only to be intercepted by Justin's smaller, greedy hands.

Brian opened his mouth, said nothing, then promptly shut it.

Justin dialed access to Brian's voice mail, where which two messages sat in wait.

_"_First message._" _an automated voice announced. Carl Horvath's voice took over:

"_Brian, it's Carl. Listen, a few of the boys have gotten a report of some indecent exposure, a _streaker_ on Liberty Avenue. Now, I told em' I'd handle it because the witness' description sounded _...familiar_. If it's you, do us all a favor kid, put on some pants. (A small chuckle) Merry Christmas. We missed you tonight, but we'll see you tomorrow."_

Justin felt his face grow hot, feeling the embarrassment his husband was incapable of. He listened again for message number two.

The voice was soft, foreign, and female:

"_Hello Mr. Kinney. This is nurse Gosling from __Allegheny General._ I'm calling to let you know that you've left your personal effects bag in our E.R. It'll be waiting for you at the head nurse's station. Thank you, and Happy Holidays."

'_The hospital._' Justin reprimanded himself for not going there first. Relieved he'd finally learn what happened to Brian's finger, and ass; and excited that more than likely they'd find his missing ring and car. Justin let himself relax...just a little; fearsome of how quickly his tension would return.

He shot some half-assed, haphazard waves and Christmas greetings around the bar, then pulled his husband outside.

* * *

_Minutes later they arrived unsure,_

_Just what else lie in store?_

_Into the E.R. they hastily rushed,_

_One cold. One drunk. Both faces flushed._

* * *

The instant they entered the hospital, Justin almost regretted it. A vibrant array of staff members flocked to them; all of whom were excitedly chattering. The blond was caught smack dab in the center of a cyclone of words. None of which he could understand as the nurses clumsily fawned over Brian's return. (Coherence and sobriety obviously didn't deter the Ol' Kinney pull) Given the fact that they were addressing his husband by name, they were definitely in the right place.

A place, where, apparently Brian had assembled himself a fan club.

The aforementioned club members were currently clapping as Justin saw the man attempting to juggle several pieces of fruit from a nearby basket. The delicious image of their very first night together emerged from the depths of his memory. He shook his head at the knowledge that obscure, uncoordinated handstands couldn't be far behind.

"Oh." an older woman cooed loudly, and pinched Justin's cheek. "You must be Sunshine, we've heard a lot about you." she finished. He wished he could said 'likewise'.

He was unsure as to what he'd wanted to focus on. The delightful fact that an intoxicated Brian enjoyed boasting about him, or the sting in his cheeks and flashbacks of his terrifying Aunt Jean pinching him senseless at family gatherings. He chose neither and chose to focus instead on the task at hand. Retrieving Brian's belongings.

Leaving the brunet happily basking in the glow of his newfound admirers, Justin approached the nurse's station.

A petite brunette with perfect posture and inviting eyes, smiled up at him. Before he'd introduced himself she spoke,"Oh, the famous Sunshine I presume?"

Justin mirrored her smile "Apparently." He said with a shrug.

"Your husband's quite the hero."

Blue eyes inquired details, the woman obliged.

"When he first came in here, he brought in an elderly lady with him. Evidently, he saved her from being damn near run over tonight."

"Wow." Justin whispered.

The nurse went on, "She was wandering downtown, Poor things got Alzheimers. He moved her out of harm's way. Slipped himself, landed hard on a patch of ice. A miracle he didn't break anything. A nearby officer drove him in his car to be checked out."

* * *

_Justin stifled a laugh, he knew was wrong,_

_Thanks to Brian, the old lady was here._

_It took all he had not to burst into the song,_

_Grandma got run over by a reindeer._

* * *

Despite his best efforts, a small giggle escaped. He attempted to mask it with a phony cough.

"She was lucky Mr. Kinney was there." she nodded, and held up a finger, signaling Justin to wait as she answered the phone. "Alleghany General..." her words trailed from earshot as Justin glanced back at Brian; who just waved happily and chatted up both the men and the women surrounding him.

"Here ya are." he heard the nurse address him once more. She handed him a small clear drawstring bag, examining it's contents, Justin felt a sharp pang of disappointment. No ring. No clothes. Hell, there wasn't much of anything. Just Brian's wallet, a handful of chewing gum, a parking voucher for the hospital garage and keys Justin recognized as his own.

A sense of dread found the pit of his belly as he remembered for the first time tonight that Brian had driven his SUV today. He was now even more anxious to get to the parking lot, he silently prayed that his beautiful car remained intact.

"No clothes? Justin asked.

"He arrived here in a Santa suit." The nurse said cheerily.

"I noticed his stitches and the band-aid on his finger."

The woman sighed lightly, "As for the finger I can't say, came in with the band-aid. But, as for the stitches on his..." she blushed "Well, at first we thought it was from the fall. But, after the examination, he appears to have been bitten by an animal. A dog or something."

"A reindeer?" Justin asked dryly.

"I suppose it could've been, I wasn't in the room when he was getting fixed up, but don't worry. I know they gave him a rabies vaccine just as a precaution." she said reassuringly.

"Great." the blond deadpanned.

"Hey, listen Before we go, do you think you could do me a favor?" Justin leaned in to whisper. The girl nodded. "Could you please get him to let you examine his finger?" he laughed at the absurdity of it all. "He's a little 'Holiday Happy'_ (he motioned drinking) _prompting a giggle from the nurse "He won't let me look."

"I'll try." she offered.

"Thank you. Do I need to sign anything?" Justin inquired.

"Nope, all set." the nurse said through a smile.

Justin gave the nurse a half smile as they both walked up to Brian's side.

* * *

_With the bandage removed, Justin just starred. _

_What else could he do?_

_ There sat the proof of just how deep Brian cared._

_ His ring reading 'Sunshine' tattoo._

* * *

Taking in the elegant script encircling his husband's finger did silly things to Justin's everything. '_Fuck. How he loved this man._' He only briefly allowed himself to worry if Brian would regret the ink tomorrow. For now, while Brian swam in liquor, he would happily drown in the man's emotional downpour.

"Found the car." he dangled the keys, laughing at the brunet's reaction.

His hazel eyes twinkled, in a way not unlike an infant distracted by chiming, shiny objects.

"Time to go, say goodbye to your little friends." Justin said only half in jest.

He was fucking exhausted.

Too tired even, to protest as he watched Brian scarf down half a dozen rum balls from the decorative dish on the nurse's counter.

* * *

_The brisk air sobered, but not very much._

_Brian still stumbled and slurred._

_His hands still groped and sloppily touched._

_His vision still doubly blurred._


	4. Home Sweet Hijack

Justin breathed a sigh of one thousand reliefs, as they approached the Escalade. It looked the same as it had when he'd left it three days ago. Justin pressed the alarm button on the car's key ring. 'Chirp, Chirp' sang loudly through the garage.

Exhausted, Justin wanted nothing more than to drive to Britin and crawl into bed. A small shiver of longing traced his bones, envisioning the cozy comforter embracing him.  
After he practically poured Brian into the passenger seat he scurried to the driver's side.

Grateful for the brunet's current calm silence, he prepared to drive.

First, he inserted the key into the ignition.

Second, he moved the seat to close the gap between his (shorter than Brian's) legs and the pedals.

Next to lastly, he adjusted the rear view mirror.

Lastly...his skeleton leapt from his skin, his cry of "Jesus Christ!" echoing throughout the parking structure.

* * *

_Justin's exclaim held more truth than he knew...as he stared into eyes that stared back into blue._

_Strapped with a belt, perched in the seat...was our Lord and saviour._

_A doll baby Jesus, sat proper and neat...hi-jacked from his manger._

* * *

As his heart slowed slightly, he turned to face his husband. The older man appeared mere moments from unconsciousness. "Shit Brian, are you trying to kill me?" he panted,"That damn doll almost gave me a stroke." Justin lectured.

Hazel eyes held sorrow.

_'What's the problem now?' _he'd wanted to snap. The brunet's shenanigans were ridiculously exhausting.

"Why is baby Jesus riding with us?" he instead asked lovingly, amused.

Brian sighed and glanced back to the pint sized holy child who smiled it's painted grin.

"I saved him." Brian began in cryptic monotone. "He was in the nativity outside of St. Joan's church." he said his mother's name as if it tasted as bitter as the woman's own personality. "She's always in charge of the live scene on Christmas." he explained softly "and I didn't like the idea of Satan herself corrupting another child." he patted the doll's head. "The Devil cannot raise the Lord." he stated matter-of-factly.

Justin rolled his eyes, and made a mental note to swing by St. Stephen's and return the newborn king before the three wise men grew suspicious.

Although he was unsure of the legalities, he was fairly positive kidnapping baby Jesus fell on the weighted end of a misdemeanor.

Eager to just get himself and his husband to bed before they broke anymore laws; Justin put the car in drive and exited the garage.

* * *

_Dashing through the road, in a horse powered Escalade,_

_there were no signs of snow, just more impending rain._

_No gliding open sleigh, steered forth by Kris Kringle,_

_Though heard not far away, was a very distinctive jingle._

* * *

He glanced at Brian, "Did you hear jingle bells?"

Brian just smiled sloppily, attempting seduction. "Jingle my bells Sunshine." was all that he said before closing his eyes and saying no more.

In the sudden quiet, Justin heard it again.

* * *

_From the rear of the car arose such a clatter, a tinkle Justin couldn't ignore._

_Pulling over to see just what was the matter, he put it in park and opened the door._

_The air kissed him cold , then he opened the gate. _

_There sat to behold, a harness…fitted for eight._

* * *

"Lovely." Justin griped quietly.

Briefly he racked his brain for locations that had had live displays. He couldn't think of any. No doubt this harness originally belonged to their earlier houseguest and his seven closest friends.

It was not until he'd returned to his seat, that a daunting thought hit him. Hit him hard and vicious.

Brian only took the SUV today because Michael was swinging by at lunchtime to fill it with Gus and JR's gifts. Kicking himself for not having noticed before, Justin struggled with the air. Something, that currently was both much needed and strangling the fuck out of him.

He closed his eyes and inhaled; desperately attempting to avoid hyperventilation. Slowly, purposefully, he faced his partner.

"Brian?" he inquired softly. The man slowly opened his eyes but couldn't be bothered to turn his head. "Yeeesss?" he drawled.

"Did Michael drop off the kids' presents today?"

"Yes Dear." he said teasingly, "They're in the back."

_'Shit. Exactly what he hadn't wanted to hear.'_ He chuckled nervously "Um, no, there aren't any gifts in here."

Brian looked perplexed.

"Oh. Well then, change my answer to…no." he said, choosing his words carefully. Searching Justin's eyes with his own, he spoke again, "Wait. Um, Yes? No?" he could tell his blond headed hubby was losing patience. "Which answer will _not_ get me into trouble?" he attempted to tease. Justin was not amused.

"Brian, those were all of the kids' presents! Where are they?" Justin cried.

"Uh-oh. Dad's mad." was all Brian said,though he did genuinely attempt to recall the gifts' whereabouts.

Justin was staring at him with enough heat in his glare to roast his chestnuts.

"Don't worry. They were delivered to good girls and boys." Brian assured him, just seconds before he closed his eyes and fell silent again.

"Goddamn it Brian. No stores are open! Everyone's going to be arriving to our home in a few hours. And the kids, they're going to be wondering where Santa put their toys." he felt his jaw clench, but it was exhilarating to vent, regardless if the brunet was listening or not.

"But we haven't got their toys have we? No. All we have is a drinking problem, a reindeer harness and Santa's fucking pants." he was exasperated.

With his eyes still closed, Brian began naming reindeer "Dasher, Dancer, Drunken, Horny, Twinkie, Trick…" he trailed off his words as drool trailed from his lips.

Justin resisted the urge to smack him.

After a quick pit stop to return Jesus, Justin continued his solitary internal queen out all the way to Britin.

To Justin's dismay, Brian had found a new love for the Christmas carols he claimed to loathe.

Pittsburgh should've been grateful for it's lack of snow, as it would've melted as they descended into holiday hell.

Their final plunge into the fire pits came when Brian began singing the twelve days of Christmas. Days of which the brunet continually forgot which gift was given when. He was therefore prompted to start all the way back at the beginning.

Twenty five minutes and forty nine days (or there abouts) of Christmas later, Justin pulled the car into the driveway.

Turning off the engine, Justin sighed and looked at the gorgeous mess riding shotgun.

Based on the current 'luck to shit' ratio, Justin was not surprised to hear Brian's faint snores. A sound he'd generally found endearing, was now irritating him to pieces.

Of course _now_ the man was sleeping and quiet. Now that they were home (fucking finally). Now that the blond needed the brunet to wake up and walk to the door.

"Brian." he spoke softly and poked his husband's shoulder gently.

Brian was doing his best impression of a child not wanting to wake for school. Justin was met with an unintelligible groan and swatting hands.

"Brian." he sterned and shook the man's upper body. "We're home. Let's go inside."

No response.

Justin exited the car, purposefully slamming his door loudly in hopes of waking sleeping beauty. No such luck. He strode to the other side and pulled open Brian's door. The brunet stirred slightly and opened one hazed hazel eye.

"Sunshine!" he piped cheerily as if he had been genuinely surprised at his husband's sudden appearance.

"Yep, it's me. We're home." he sent an encouraging smile.

"Home." Brian nodded in apparent approval as he clumsily stumbled from the seat. As soon as both feet hit the ground, his lips found Justin's neck.

* * *

_He nuzzled and muzzled that pale little neck._

_A flutter of kisses, some licks and some pecks._

_Justin felt giddy and started to blush._

_A flood of desire started to gush._

* * *

Pulling himself away from his heated need to feel Brian within him, Justin straightened his posture.

"We've gotta get inside. Can you make it?"

"Make it." Brian whispered as his hands instantly found their way to Justin's ass.

"Yes Mr. Kinney." Justin said trying his damnedest to inject humor. "If you get _your_ ass in the house, _my _ass is all yours."

"Now, these are terms that resonate with me Sunshine." he drawled.

"I figured." Justin smiled, propping Brian against the brick house, so he could open the door.

* * *

_With a flick of a switch, their home came to light._

_ A place both men felt complete._

_ Desperately he eyed the stairs' endless flight._

_ Justin feared the nearing feat._

* * *

"Christ. How am I supposed to get you up the steps?" he said as much to himself as to Brian, who was, to his amusement, attempting to curl his long body onto a tiny ottoman.

"Nope. Not here." he explained, pulling Brian's weight with all of his might.

"We've got to get to bed. Upstairs." he continued, further realizing just how much stronger and larger his husband was.

* * *

_For a few struggling seconds he turned and he twisted. _

_Tried to wrap limbs, he tugged and he lifted._

_ He pulled Brian's arms, he dragged the man's feet._

_'Not gonna happen.' he sighed in defeat._

* * *

Once again he heard the sounds of his husband's blissful slumber. Justin retreated to the small guest room to the left of the foyer. There he gathered several pillows and one heavy blanket.

* * *

_Giving up worry of gifts, and their guests..._

_Until morning he'd push it aside._

_At the moment he really just needed rest..._

_On the floor he lie snuggled to Brian's side._


	5. Rude Awakenings

_A chime rang out to awaken the house, Brian awoke where he fell._

_Every creature, every mouse, stirred at the sound of the bell._

_Another chime and then a tap, followed by some more._

_Brian yawned, stretched his lap, then stumbled towards the door._

* * *

Unable to decide which was louder, the pounding on the door or the pounding of his head.

'_It hurt like a motherfucker._' Long fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, he clamped his eyes tight. Trying desperately to evaluate his surroundings, he drew in a deep breath and reopened his eyes. This time truly waking up. The first thing he noticed was Justin. His soft features matching the gentle breaths of his slumber. '_He was beautiful._'

"Christ." he whispered through the pain in his brain. He struggled to recall Justin's arrival, he remembered getting his message in the office, then going to Woody's. '_After that?_' A kaleidescope of memories spun hazily in his thoughts. Everything was significantly out of focus.

Another ring of the doorbell echoed through the high ceilings of the foyer. Brian winced, his head screamed. '_Did he mention that it hurt like a motherfucker?_' His foot became tangled in the blanket beneath it, causing him to trip. With the grace of a gazelle (he'd swear if ever he retells this) he floated towards the doorway. In actuality (he'd deny if he ever retells this) his legs went in opposite directions, and a tiny flutter of fear found his heart as he feared the crash landing ahead from his airborne acrobatics. He Harshly slammed his lean body against the door, he in a sense knocked back to his guest on the other side. He regained his balance, though not his dignity, and pulled it open.

"Merry Christmas!" Debbie said way too fucking cheerily for this early in the morning.

"Oh, I see you've brought the fruitcake." Brian said, looking at Emmett. "Oh, and you've brought a dessert too." he teased.

"Ha Ha." Emmett said dryly.

"Nice to see you've found some pants kid." Carl joked to a very confused Brian.

'_When had Carl ever had interest in his pants?_' in a related area of thought '_Why did his left ass cheek sting like a bitch right now?_'

He resisted the urge to feel himself up to provide himself with an answer.

"Are you going to let us in or do you want us to freeze our nuts off?" Hunter griped, not waiting for an invite, pushed his way into the house.

Once everyone had entered, Ted shut the door. Justin was now awake and folding their makeshift bed.

"Where's Ben?" the blond asked Michael.

"Oh, he'll be here soon, just picking up the girls and the kids from the airport."

'_Kids! Santa! Shit, the gifts!_' Justin recalled with a start.

"I bet they're bursting at the seams to see what Santa has brought." Michael said walking over to the tree. "Where are the gifts?" he shrieked. Cue Queen out...

* * *

_He ranted, he raved, his arms flailed about._

_He swung, he waved, he screamed and cried out._

* * *

"What happened to the gifts?" Michael asked.

Brian and Justin locked eyes. Blue looked worried and a little scared. Hazel looked dumbly dumbfounded.

'_What _had_ happened to the presents?_' the brunet sifted through thoughts, no answer was found.

"Uh," was all his idiot mouth could say.

"UHH..." Mikey mimicked, then proceeded to lecture. Brian heard something about lacking responsibility but quit listening.

Sonny boy would be here soon, what was he going to do? He hadn't known the gifts' location, yet he was somehow positive he was the cause of their absence.

Whilst accusing, questioning eyes tried to seer him, he was literally saved by the bell. He breathed relief and rushed to answer the door.

* * *

_Before him stood the Pitts' Mayor beaming._

_A familiar reporter, a news camera streaming._

_Brian smiled though completely vexed,_

_really confused, and downright perplexed._

* * *

"Excuse me?" I'm sorry I'm not sure I've heard you correctly." the brunet fumbled.

"Nonsense Mr. Kinney, your hearing is perfect." the Mayor assured him.

Suddenly Brian felt familiar arms encircle his waist, "Merry Christmas Mr. Mayor." the blond greeted their new guests. Brian was always impressed by Justin's ability to remain unscathed by glitzy attention and unexpected chaos. "What's going on?" he asked, looking to his husband for an answer; only instead to be given a bewildered shrug.

"Ah, you must be Justin. I must say, It's a pleasure to meet you." A lean man with sandy hair gushed.

"That's me, and you are?" Justin smiled encouragingly.

"Oh, how rude of me to leave you two standing here confused. My name is Gregory Walsh from channel eleven news." he clarified as if everyone should already know him.

Justin didn't. Brian on the other hand sensed a definite familiarity with the reporter; albeit he was positive he'd not recognized him from television.

"Allow me to please explain," the man urged happily "the station's doing a segment on the city's goodwill towards men. An expose' of sorts on the holiday spirit of good Samaritans. While undercover, I posed as a homeless man and hit the streets. Now I tell you, there are some cruel people in this world. But you, Mr. Kinney," he met Brian's intrigued eyes. "why, you saw me last night shivering, and without so much as a second thought you gave me the very clothes from your back." the man blushed a little, as everyone could guess he was remembering the Ad Executive in the buff.

"Yes Sir Mr. Kinney," the Mayor interjected "you are a kind and giving man. I am pleased to present you with a key to Pittsburgh to honor your good will towards your fellow man..."

"No shit!" everyone heard Hunter exclaim. Apparently his family (full of nosy fuckers) had all been listening behind him.

"Wow, Brian Kinney on the nice list. Who would'a thunk it?" Emmett giggled. Brian wanted to be offended, but hell, who was he kidding?"

* * *

_He said a few words to the people at home, _

_thus the news cast was done. _

_He just wanted to be left alone, _

_though the Mayor's visit was only round one._

* * *

_The hangover had him completely dizzy._

_As his morning became completely busy._

* * *

As he watched the news crew began to repack their van, two more vehicles pulled up to the house. '_What now?_' Brian's inner drunkard whined.

* * *

_Wide-eyed, the family watched, the cars dispense their guests._

_Pour forth some carolers, all traditionally dressed._

_Elaborate costumes, one by one. Wait, now look, there's..._

* * *

"A Nun?" Justin and Deb's voices questioned in unison. Too soon for Brian's headache, the colorful carolers burst into song. Whilst the brunet imagined the irritating bunch bursting into flames, or some equally gratifying torture. '_He fucking hated Christmas songs._' No stranger to Nuns thanks to St. Joan, Brian tensed as the tiny elderly woman approached.

"Merry Christmas Sister." said Justin, Mr. cool, calm, and annoyingly cute.

She nodded and greeted the blond's hand warmly. She turned to Brian "God bless you Mr. Kinney." she praised.

Unable to hear his own thoughts over the obnoxious choir, (and Emmy Lou and Theodore who were singing along) he stepped closer to the woman. "Have we met?" he inquired, honestly not knowing the woman from Adam...or Eve.

A light laughter danced toward him. "Oh you jest Mr. Kinney. We've come to award you with this plaque," she handed Brian a glistening golden object "to show our gratitude on behalf of Pittsburgh's House of Hope."

The brunet noticed now, that the news crew had opted to stay, and were to his annoyance still filming him. He focused back on _Sister Mary Christmas or whatever-the-fuck,_ she was addressing Justin and Michael who now stood beside him.

"Your friend here, is a kind and generous soul." she told the blond.

"Yeah, so we've been hearing." Hunter interrupted playfully. "Ow!" he added after Deb whacked his shoulder for the interruption.

"We just couldn't believe it when he showed up last evening, dressed as Santa. He handed out lovely gifts to all the boys and girls. It was a Godsend, truly, those children had a wonderful Christmas thanks to you Dear." she took Brian's hand into her own "A good soul." she reiterated with a head nod "Thank you again Mr. Kinney." she added before turning back towards her car.

Brian's left ear heard a sudden intake of air. One filled with exasperated defeat. One he knew well. One that was half Italian and half Drag Queen.

"Yes Michael?" he asked not turning his head.

He felt his best friend's hand gently squeeze his shoulder.

"That was a good thing you did..." Brian sensed an inevitable 'but' "But," (There it was. If Brian Kinney knew anything, it was but(t)s.) "couldn't you have bought those children their own toys? Christ Brian, what about our kids? This is just fan-fucking-tastic." Mikey quipped.

Kinney's quick wit took a coffee break, he said nothing. Anyway, Mikey was right. _'Now see, this is exactly the reason Brian Kinney doesn't do good deeds if he can help it._' Sure, he was happy for the Orphans getting another year of believing in Santa. However, '_Fuck.' What about Sonny boy's belief? What about JR's?_' Panic brewed in his belly, where it came to a boiling nausea. '_What was he going to do? Worse yet, what was Mel going to do to him?_'

* * *

_Hazel eyes worried, 'How to explain?'_

_his regretful lips tightly pinched,_

_any excuse to Gus would be lame._

_Daddy stole Christmas just like the Grinch._

* * *

Speak of the devil, (and Lindsay and Gus) Brian watched Ben pull into the driveway. His eyes frantically searched for something he could use to protect himself from the lesbian lecture he was about to receive. He hadn't searched long when a loud horn startled his heart. Glancing up, his still glossy eyes glazed further.

* * *

_Timing so scripted, like read from a book,_

_he couldn't believe his luck._

_Blinking twice, again he looked,_

_his colorful savior, a toy filled truck._

* * *

"Daddy!" Gus' excited exclaim seemed to come from all directions. Following the sound, Brian saw his son spinning in circles. Twirling towards his daddy, Gus engulfed the air in giggles. He'd seen the real big toy truck following them for a while now. He couldn't have been more excited to see it pull in behind them. Smile lighting his face, he wrapped himself around his daddy. Boy he'd missed him.

"Hey! Wow! Do you see that?" he chattered, out of breath. "Holy moly, I must've been even gooder this year than I thought! Yeah, you know? Cause look daddy, Santa sent a whole truck full of toys!"

Brian was never not amazed at his Sonny boy's words per breath capabilities. He leaned down and gathered the boy into his arms.

"Wow is right." he told the boy "I never doubted you were on the nice list for a minute." he matched Gus' grin. Justin interjected, demanding his own hug from their son. Dramatically, the blond tapped his foot, crossed his arms, and pouted his lips. A stance that made Brian take notice.

"What about my hugs and kisses?" he asked the kid.

"Daddy Justin!" Gus gave him an equally as eager greeting; then noticed the men in the truck opening the back, and left both daddies for presents.

As Brian watched his son, suddenly all business, direct the men with the boxes full of wrapped toys towards the door; the driver approached him, and began to explain his delivery.

* * *

_The toys were a prize from a contest he'd won._

_From a radio stint, he'd forgotten he'd done._

_He'd never remembered not one single trick._

_Though apparently knew the deer of Saint Nick._

_One by one, he'd listed them all..._

_thus salvaging Christmas with that one winning call._

* * *

He signed the paperwork, and breathed a tremendous sigh of relief. The kids would have even more gifts than before. Everyone greeted the girls and the kids, Michael's blood pressure returned to normal, and the frenzied circus of visitors left the driveway. Brian remained outside for a solitary moment after everyone took Deb up on her offer of fresh coffee and cocoa. The crisp, cold air eased his headache some; albeit it was doing nothing to stop the constant throbbing of his ass. '_He'd have to ask Justin what in the hell happened later._' He began to light a cigarette to calm the chaos of the morning, when a familiar car pulled up.

The handsomest hungover homosexual ever, curiously cocked his head. '_What was Cynthia doing here?_' As he noticed her even more unexpected passenger, he furrowed his brow. Brian met his feisty assistant's eyes as they approached; they sparkled with excitement, causing Brian to relax. '_Whatever the reason for this impromptu visit, it was obviously good news_.'

"Merry Christmas Mr. Kinney." said Mr. Harper of 'the previous deal gone kaput Harper's energy drinks'.

Brian blinked and he was almost positive he spoke. He couldn't be sure, for his mind was too busy trying to both decipher this visit, and dim the unbearable throbbing. Here stood a man even more narcissistic than Brian. A man so disinterested in his campaign ideas that he hadn't even bothered to meet in person to turn Kinnetik down.

"Mr. Harper, I must say I am surprised..." the grey haired man halted Brian's words with a curt wave of his hand. He then placed that hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"I suppose I should explain," a shy chuckle "it would seem that I owe you an endless debt of gratitude Mr. Kinney." Brian snuck a look towards Cynthia. She and Justin were happily chatting several feet away. He turned his eyes back to Elliot Harper.

* * *

_Brian's ears struggled to catch the man's words. _

_Most surely because his words were absurd._

_Engulfed in a tale of heroic might, _

_a batty old broad, and a rough patch of ice._

_Though the night, he couldn't recall,_

_his ass sure hurt; he'd guessed from the fall._

_'So he was a hero' not surprising at all,_

_Last night Rage rescued this man's mother-in-law._

* * *

"...she's struggled with Alzheimer's for years...my wife is eternally thankful..." Brian zoned in and out. He stayed there.

* * *

_He stopped listening, he just couldn't think._

_He ironically wished for a Harper's energy drink._

* * *

Which it seemed had become Kinnetik's newest, and most substantial client.

'_Christ, his head. He needed coffee._' He also need socks. As he'd stupidly just realized he was barefoot. Barefoot, and freezing to fucking death.

As he instinctivly shivered, he mentally cursed mother nature. Damn it, if she was going to make it this cold, at the very least she could give his Sonny boy some snow.

Absentmindedly he saw Justin ushering their latest arrivals into their home. Praying his frosty footsies still worked, he followed.

Crossing the threshold, he'd felt his favorite fingers snake around his neck. Justin's cool coiling fingertips instantly eased his aching head. Too quick to calculate, his husband's lips were tasting his own. Brian's entire body eagerly welcomed the kiss. It was slow, passionate, and long. So long in fact, they'd apparently gained an audience. A consistent rhythmic taping played on Brian's hip. Glancing down, he met Gus' agitation.

"You guuuuuuys, enough already!" tiny hands flailed freely "Come oooon, there's about a gazillion presents over there, just begging for me to open them." the child beamed and wiggled his fingers, demonstrating their itch to shred gift wrap.

"Oh, well then my boy, have at it." Justin led the way with a grand sweep of his arm. Gus' giggles highlighted the air.

"Present time!" he excitedly informed his sister; then like a lion pouncing on prey...literally dove into the tremendous pile of wrapped winnings.

"OK Kinney, let's see what Santa brought ya!" a damn near bouncing Emmett beamed brightly as he addressed Brian's mask of confusion.

"Listen Em, the gifts," Justin began but was stopped and surprised as the flamboyant man presented a perfectly wrapped package.

Brian and Justin exchanged a look, both silently thanking the other, for at least getting one gift for each guest. Simultaneously, they both just shrugged and shook their head no.

"I didn't." Justin mouthed.

"Come on, come on." Emmett clapped, urging Brian to take the small box from his hands. "Honey, this is something shiny. I could spot a jewelry box with my eyes closed. So let's see it." his smile widened as Brian reached to retrieve said box. Emmett gasped, and pulled the brunet's hand harshly towards his face. "A tattoo? Why Brian, how fabulously Avant Garde." he glanced to Justin "Tattoos are hot. You lucky duck." he playfully elbowed the blond. The blond who was worriedly watching his partner's face. '_Would he regret it?_' To his pleasure and surprise, Brian was smiling.

Hazel devoured the new addition to his skin. 'When had he gotten tattooed?' He read the word Sunshine encircling his ring finger. His insides seemingly warmed from it's invisible golden rays; albeit he hadn't remembered it's application, he'd treasure it always. A brief bought of panic struck his belly. '_Where was his actual band?_' he eyed the tiny box he held. '_No, it couldn't be. Could it?_' He made a mental note to somehow find out which parlor he'd gone to; likely having left his ring there. Brian tore open the small gift. Emmy Lou had been right. It was undoubtedly a jewelry box. An audible gasp hit the air. Brian hadn't been sure if it'd come from him, or the two men beside him. His. Ring.

* * *

_Bewildered, Befuddled, he studied the band._

_he studied again the ink on his hand._

_Forever branded by Justin's tattoo,_

_He wouldn't have believed it, if it hadn't been true._

_On his right hand he slid the ring, there was nothing else to do._

_For the blond that meant everything, the man would wear two._

* * *

"Did you?" Justin and Brian asked each other in unison. "No." they parroted again, prompting a curiously confused chuckle from them.

"Who put this here?" Brian wondered aloud.

"Duuuh Daddy! It was Santa!" a suddenly very near Gus exclaimed.

Outside, he shook off Sonny boy's words. Inside, he pondered them with childlike intrigue. But, fanatical explanations of fantasy figures had not been the only reason for Gus' visit at their feet.

"Wow! Santa Claus got me some real cool toys. Seriously awesome." he pulled his fist down to illustrate the amazing-ness of it all. "I got this," he pointed with a head nod to the sleigh he dragged behind him. "Cept', here there's no snow. At home we have lots." he saddened "Man, I sure wish you had snow daddy..." the boy's attention drifted from his father's face to the front windows. Not regaining eye contact, Gus raised his finger "Hold that thought guys. I think I saw snowflakes!"

Brian admired the kid's optimism. He found himself longing for the untainted perspective of youth. '_Wait._' he paused his thoughts.

* * *

_He stretched his neck, and strained his sight. _

_As flurries fell in puffs of white._

_Excited chatter danced and twirled, to the door the family swirled._

_A white Christmas, it was a granted wish._

_Sonny boy played, Justin blew him a kiss._

* * *

Brian was mesmerized watching the dusting ivory caress the equally porcelain man. He was almost convinced his heart fell further in love in sync with the flakes.

* * *

_It truly was an entrancing show,_

_ his husband wore a glittery glow, _

_as ice flakes kissed his angel of snow._

_A snowball fight later, Brian was done. _

_He hated the cold, he needed his sun._

_ As if reading his mind the blond gave a smirk. _

_He pulled Brian inside with a passionate jerk_.

_With their guests still outside, upstairs they were jogging,_

_To become occupied, with delicious egg-snogging._

* * *

In mere moments the master suite was a monsoon of movement. Flailing limbs created a soft breeze, blowing Brian's mind. It's been days since he'd had his husband. His hands effortlessly found the curve of Justin's ass. He roughly hoisted him up. The blond's legs wrapped around Brian's lean torso. There was a viciousness in the brunet's kisses that was making Justin a tad delirious. Not that he was complaining. His own frenzy was equally as frantic.

Brian's back found the mattress, bringing Sunshine along for the ride. Justin giggled beneath Brian's kiss as he landed and their excited erections finally met. They'd made one hell of a first impression.

* * *

_His Sunshine was even more eager than he'd hoped._

_Brian lie squirming as Justin's hands groped._

_The flesh ignited, each spot he had fingered._

_An electric shock where static still lingered._

* * *

Brian shuddered free of shame, as that glorious mouth trailed downward. He was fucking giddy. Justin kissed the tip of his 'happy to be free' cock and looked up through golden silk. '_Fuck. Those lashes._' Brian wanted to touch them. He didn't. More so he wanted them to be softly tickling his skin. Hazel eyes locked with Justin's, he grinned. "Careful Ralphie, or you'll shoot your eye out." he teased. Justin giggled against his flesh. The simple vibration was almost too much to take. Almost. Brian took it.

* * *

_After a time both too long and too soon,_

_Satisfied panting, talked to the room._

_Brian embraced Justin's head on his chest,_

_ He could tell the blond was thinking._

_He filled in the blanks and pondered the rest,_

_of Brian's night of drinking._

* * *

"OK. So," he began all business "we know that sometime between Woody's and now, you've done the following," Justin cocked an eyebrow.

Brian cocked his back.

"though we can't pinpoint the order of events," he smiled. Brian swooned a little. The blond began his memoriam stroll down candy cane lane, walking in Brian's retraced steps.

Kinney himself was a useless resource. Whiskey, Beer, Eggnog, Rum Balls, and no doubt pain meds from the bite, created holes in his memory even bigger than his ego. Or Melanie's mouth.

"Gave away your suit (Brian's fashionista experienced palpitations). Gave Liberty Avenue a show of the 'goods' (He eyed his brunet top to toe). You remedied nudity by ripping off Santa, which by the by we still have no idea which one. Boosted Rudolph, kidnapped Jesus, got a tattoo, saved Grandma, busted your ass, baked some cookies, burned some cookies, sang some Elvis, (Brian crinkled his nose at the memory, still convinced he hadn't)..." out of breath Justin didn't continue. Not because he had finished teasing his husband, but because that husband was devouring his words from his mouth with his tongue.

* * *

_As he prepared for round two of his holiday cheer,_

_he hungrily eyed his husband's rear._

_From sadness to gladness, he'd had quite a night._

_Though through the madness, it'd turned out alright._

_Hazel's stare remained tight,as Justin's blush became bright._

_Inside his body jiggled, as he watched his Sunshine wiggle._

_On Santa's list this year, it seemed he'd been on nice._

_Time to go for naughty here, he wouldn't be nice twice._

* * *

Meanwhile...

_Deep in the snow, at the pole farthest north._

_Eager elves watched their boss stumble forth._

_One of them snickered at the sight he could see._

_Soon followed by others, who giggled with glee._

_First, they'd noticed the state of his dress,_

_or rather, just what wasn't there._

_No britches, No boots, the man was a mess,_

_clad only in long underwear._

_Clearly stewing, his cheeks were quite red._

_No joy brewing, just discord instead._

_There was no joining harness attached to his sleigh._

_Just impromptu ropes in complete disarray._

_Thanks to a thief, he was a reindeer short._

_He huffed, he fumed, he stifled a snort._

_Glad to be home, he'd had quite enough._

_The ride back to the pole had been rather rough._

_Tossing and twisting, they fumbled along._

_They zigged, they zagged, their direction all wrong._

_Thanks to Brian Kinney, so much was amiss._

_How had he ever made the nice list?_

_Santa supposed he'd slipped through the cracks,_

_On the tip-top of naughty he was put back._

* * *

Back at Britin...

_By the front of his shirt, Brian was led,_

_as their guests drove out of sight._

_Justin eager to get snug in their bed,_

_for one hell of a Christmas, and a fucking goodnight._

THE END.


End file.
